I’m a fat lad, me. Not morbidly obese or anything, but possessed of a certain stoutness about the tum. I know I’m overweight, although I didn’t realise how overweight until I was weighed before a routine rheumatology appointment last week.
The discovery has spurred the sides of my intent. I have traditionally held by the Satanic principle that vanity alone should motivate one to take care of oneself and keep oneself in trim, but that clearly hasn’t been true in my case and so I have arrived at the point where it’s become a medical matter.
I intend to shed four stone in four months, so that I might be well within the recommended range of weights by my next appointment, and present a more stylish figure by Hallowe’en.
Robin has me keeping a food diary – every morsel that passes my lips is noted down on paper – and this is certainly helping me account for my existing habits, but it is not helping me correct them.
I do not write this to castigate myself, nor to describe my situation in exhaustive detail or repeat well-worn explanations. I write to discuss solutions to problems.
The biggest problem I perceive right now is that I eat when I’m bored, or when I’m thirsty (because it is impolite to drink without eating, as C. S. Lewis cautioned me in my youth – I remember nothing else from Narnia except that line), and that I do so in a sort of distracted haze in which my conscious will is temporarily suspended.
What I need is disruption – something which shakes me out of that addlepated state and into the clarity of responsible decision-making. Hence this:
This is a bindrune – a composite of letters from the Futhark which combine into a symbolic meaning. Thorn denotes change and willpower – is denotes deprivation – eoh denotes improvement. Through willpower, I deprive myself and thus improve. One of these is stuck to each of the food cupboards, and to the fridge. As I drift, I recognise the rune and am reaffirmed in my grand design.
Why not a simple note? Because I would express it in English as a reprimand, an instruction, and my feelings would be hurt, and I would eat to spite myself. This is something positive, a refreshment of my statement of intent. Also because I would ignore a note in English, skim over it, not acknowledge it. The rune is special. It is out of the ordinary. It demands decoding and interpretation – activating the mind and thus disrupting that empty grazer’s meander which leads me to the nosebag in the first place.
This is but one element of the plan. I do not expect Rune Magick (TM) to solve all my problems. It is a part of my armoury, however, and I intend to make use of it.